Did you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?
– Robert Orben
Sometimes the appropriate response to reality is to go insane.
– Phillip K. Dick
I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was ‘Woman’.
– Steven Wright
I was strongest when I laughed at my weakness.
– Elmer Diktonius
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
– Albert Camus
When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he’s going to have a go at it anyway.
– Clyde B. Aster
Laughter is an instant vacation.
– Milton Berle
I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen; but if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your own soul’s doing.
– Marie Stopes
The image that concerns most people is the reflection they see in other people’s minds.
– Edward De Bono
Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.
– Josh Billings
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has, power and magic in it.